Possibly Involving Loss

The day of my birth, my horoscope in the local paper read: “changes will come, possibly involving loss.” I don’t believe in horoscopes, but that does seem to sum up my life at times. I’m sure most people could say the same.

Not a day goes by that I’m not grateful for all of the good fortune I’ve had. I am a lucky guy, and I KNOW I’ve been a lucky guy. Still, this has been a rough year so far. In the last six months, I’ve lost two aunts, two cats, had two co-workers laid off, and had a promising relationship end. Things could be worse. I could have been one of the ones that died or got laid off. Still, I’m ready for things to start getting better again. Then again, if the saying that “bad things always happen in threes” is true, I’ve got a ways to go before things get any better.

It seems that whenever my heart is broken, I drive. I’m not entirely sure why I do this. I’ve driven almost 250,000 miles in the last seven years, and I haven’t been able to escape my heart yet.

Posted in rants, thoughts
Back From the Swamp

Smile for the Camera

Well that wasn’t so difficult. I spent three days in the Everglades, at Flamingo Campground, which is at the extreme southern tip of the Florida Peninsula.

I went there with the goal of getting away from the world for a while, and finding some peace and quiet. I really didn’t manage to find peace. The first night was relatively peaceful, but from that point on there was an ever-increasing number of people on spring break who were busy making a racket well into the night. In that respect, the trip wasn’t what I had hoped for or wanted. It was still a good trip though.

On the plus side, I set my tent up at the site nearest Florida Bay. Looking out my tent entrance, I saw one lone tree by the shore, and then Florida Bay and some of the Florida Keys. Unofficially it was the southernmost dwelling on the Florida Peninsula while I stayed there. I couldn’t ask for a better view. I also couldn’t have asked for better weather. Cool evenings and warm days, and I barely saw a cloud the entire time I was there. I spent a good chunk of time hiking and taking pictures. I took a boat ride and a 4-hour canoe trip. In my downtime I read “Seeing the Light:: Wilderness and Salvation: A Photographer’s Tale” which I picked up at Clyde Butcher’s Big Cypress Gallery. It’s a story of the man and his wife, as well as the Everglades and some of it’s more colorful characters.

I got to see a Bald Eagle for the first time in the wild. I saw Falcons and Hawks, Manatees, plenty of Alligators and a few Crocodiles as well. No snakes, and thankfully the mosquitos didn’t really come out until dusk when I was already turning in for the night. I lived three days basically out of what I could carry in my backpack. I took my time getting to the park, stopping at the Big Cypress Gallery, and took my time getting home, stopping to take pictures along the way.

So it wasn’t exactly what I was hoping for. No great revelation was to be had. It was still a fun trip and well worth the effort and the $58 it cost me for the park admission and campsite.

-R

Posted in Florida Life, outdoors, travel
Getting Away

“Scenery without solace is meaningless.” – Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven

Can you think of a time in your life when you experienced some kind of epiphany? Most of mine seem to happen when I’m the road somewhere, traveling to or standing in front of some beautiful scenery. Travel destinations are tangible goals, and there are so many of them in my mind that it can be a transformative experience to finally stand there seeing a place with my own eyes.

It wasn’t until I stood at the Marin Highlands looking down on the Golden Gate that I realized I’d always dreamt of standing at that place, for as long as I could remember. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized I’d always been holding someone’s hand in that dream. There was no hand to hold that day, so I got to stand there and learn the bittersweet feeling of a dream only half-realized, but it’s a moment I’ll remember forever.

A big moment for me came on another trip to California. Finding myself with a free day on my schedule, I left San Francisco at 4am on two hours of sleep to drive east across the state. I crossed most of California’s central valley in darkness until the sun rose in front of me over the Sierra’s. I wound my way up into the hills along the Merced river, on my way to Yosemite National Park. I’d seen the park from the air once, on my first flight into San Francisco. It was impressive enough from miles in the air that it made my list of travel destinations. I’d seen pictures and read about the place, and now with just a twelve hours free, I wanted to see it with my own eyes.

I was completely unprepared for what I saw. I turned a corner and saw El Capitan in front of me. Well, I saw a rock wall. It must have been at least a half-mile away, and I still had to lean forward in the car to be able to see the top of it. Other than a “holy shit!” exclaimed to nobody, it left me speechless. No pictures or stories can do justice to the beauty of that place.

Something changed in me that day. I only spent four hours in the park before I had to start heading back to San Francisco. They are four of the happiest hours of my life. Definitely the happiest ones I’ve spent alone. Something about the place touched my soul in a way that few things ever have. It’s like the first time you truly experience love; it’s beautiful by itself, but it opens your world up to possibilities you never knew existed. Some part of me, deep down inside, will always be happy just for the few hours I got to spend in Yosemite Valley.

Rob at Yosemite Valley

It’s too bad we can’t have experiences like that whenever we want to. I could use one around now. 2009 was challenging. 2010 more so, and it doesn’t look to be getting better anytime soon. I can’t make it to Yosemite Valley right now, but I don’t have to go to California to find beauty.

I’ll be off soon for a few days in the Everglades. Florida swamps aren’t nearly as dramatic as the towering granite walls and waterfalls of Yosemite. It’s the hardships of the swamp that are more dramatic, with the sometimes oppressive climate and the fact that most living things there look at you as a source of food. The beauty is more subtle, and you need to slow down and look carefully in order to see it.

Clyde Butcher, who is probably Florida’s most famous nature photographer, knows how to unlock that beauty on film. I don’t. I’ll be there with a camera, but I’ll be happy just to find some measure of peace that I can usually gain from natural places.

Clyde retreated into the Everglades many years ago after his son was killed by a drunk driver. He went there to find solace and restoration. He came out with beautiful pictures, but I don’t know if he found the solace he was looking for. Maybe one day I’ll get to ask him. Maybe one day I’ll find the answer myself.

– R

Posted in Florida Life, outdoors, photography, travel
Camping, Part II

So I haven’t been camping in 20 years, and that trip was a complete mess. I mention this because I just planned my first camping trip in 20 years. It’s been so long that I’m not sure I really remember how to do it properly. No better way to learn than to do, right? Now you think I’d pick a nearby campground or my backyard in order to just get the hang of things before going on an excursion. I can’t do things the easy way though.

We have one of the top beaches in the country nearby, at Fort Desoto Park. They have a campground, and I always joked that it would be my campground of choice, since there’s a sushi restaurant right down the road in case the whole “roughing it” thing doesn’t go well. The problem is, the campground is always booked well in advance, and it’s already booked until the summer, when things will be uncomfortably hot. So, where to camp?

I chose the Flamingo Campground. Go ahead and look. It’s essentially the last bit of dry land at the southern tip of the Florida peninsula, deep in the Everglades, on Florida Bay. That’s right; for my first camping trip in 20 years I elected to go deep into the swamp, to a campground that sits between Gator Lake and Snake Bight, and is known as the best place to see the American Crocodile. Gators are common in Florida, but Crocs are rare, and aggressive compared to alligators. Mosquitos at this camp can be so numerous that old legends tell of clouds of mosquitos snuffing out lanterns.

Oh, and I’m making this trip by myself. Three days in the heart of the Everglades by myself with the gators, crocodiles, snakes, and mosquitos. I could get eaten alive by any of those four and nobody would know until I didn’t show up for work the following Monday. More than one of my friends has said “You’re nuts!” when I told them my plans. I suspect they’re right.

I think it will be a good thing though. Three days far from civilization, with no electricity, in a National Park, all for the cost of $48. Time away from all of the things in life that feel like they are suffocating me. Time to be myself, by myself, and just enjoy being alive. I imagine I will come back with a good sized list of Things Not To Do When Camping, but what the hell, you only live once.

Wish me luck.

Posted in Florida Life, outdoors
Camping, Part I

Some of my best memories involve summers spent camping with my Dad. As a young kid growing up I lived with my Mom, so I would only see my Dad for a few weeks during summer vacation. He had a small pickup-sized camper and for a few years we would go out camping in different parts of the northeastern U.S.

I haven’t been camping much since then. My last camping trip was about 20 years ago, and it is a trip that lives on in stories that are told to this day. I’m talking about the kind of stories that survivors of the Titanic probably told years after that event. My friend Jenn hasn’t been camping since that trip 20 years ago, and when asked she just replies “I don’t go camping.” If pressed for information, she will point to me and say “ask him why” because I was there.

It wouldn’t be entirely accurate to call that trip a disaster. Nobody died or lost a limb. It was really just a comedy of errors. I can say that now, looking back on it. At the time, I’m not so sure we were confident that we would emerge with lives and limbs intact.

This was a four-person trip planned by my friend Jim. That should have set off red warning lights right there. Jim is quite a character but he was never known for his organizational skills, let alone his skills as an outdoorsman. Jim borrowed a tent from a friend, and we piled four people and a weekend’s worth of camping gear into Jim’s Dodge Daytona for the trip out to the campground on eastern Long Island. We were packed like sardines into the car, sitting in odd positions for a couple of hours jammed in between all of the gear.

We arrived at the campground as the last bit of light was leaving the sky, only to discover that Jim forgot the bag with the rope and tent stakes. That left Jim wandering the woods with an axe to chop up tree stumps for use as tent stakes. Meanwhile, I climbed trees with a knife in my teeth to cut down every sliver of rope left behind by previous campers, so we could string them all together into a few really ugly ropes and get the tent up in the dark.

That would have been enough to make a memorable trip, but things went downhill from there. Jim set up a tent-like shelter to “protect” our food. All the shelter ended up doing was trapping all of the animals in with the food, which they quite enjoyed. They could get in, but couldn’t find their way out. On a late-night trek across the campground, Jim decided to drive instead of walk, keeping his headlights off so as not to disturb any other campers. He drove into a tree in the dark. On our last day, Jenn fell off of a teeter-totter onto her head and a very sunburned back. The whole trip was one long mess. Funny in retrospect, but not so much when it was going on. I can’t speak for anyone else, but both Jenn and I haven’t been camping since.

Posted in outdoors
iCan’t Remember

Here’s a funny little tidbit:
Fact #1: I can’t remember numbers very well. I remember the patterns they make on a keypad, but not the actual numbers.

Fact #2: My iPhone is locked with a 4-digit numeric code. It has some financial apps on it, so in case I lose it I don’t want people having access to my bank account.

Fact #3: My short-term memory is generally shot. I’ve worked for years at a job that pulls me in 20 different directions at once and requires that I switch context FAR too often, so I’ve had to establish a system of notes and lists in order to keep something from getting lost in the shuffle.

I’m sure you can see where this is headed.

I had to remember a number in order to get through a security gate. Because I am bad at numbers, I enter it into my phone as a note and I kept repeating it in my head, to make sure I wouldn’t forget it. What your humble writer did not know at the time was that the number he had been given was incorrect.

I drove up to the security gate and entered the number I had been given. Nothing happened. I entered the same number again, hoping for a different result (definition of insanity?) and once again nothing happened.

Now I have several cars lined up behind me, so I managed to pull myself out of the way of traffic. I figured I’d call up the person that supplied me with the bogus number. I picked up my phone and entered my security code into it.

Nothing happened.

Well, that’s not entirely true. I got an error that I entered the wrong code. Not too uncommon; sometimes I just fat-finger it when I’m trying to enter it, so I just enter it again. Error. Ok, obviously I must be a little flustered at this point. Let me slow down and enter it real slow.

Error. Ok, seriously, WTF? I KNOW what my code is, I know the pattern it makes on the keypad, so let me just tap it out very carefully and… DAMMIT! I’d never failed to enter the correct code more than twice before. Now the phone said I had to wait a minute before I could try again.

Now I was stuck in the car, looking at a gate I couldn’t pass through without a code that (I thought) was on the phone that I couldn’t unlock. I couldn’t call the person that gave me the code for the gate because I couldn’t remember the code for the phone. Finally I managed to ride through the gate on someone else’s back bumper.

Now, what to do about the phone? After each successive attempt, the amount of time I was locked out increased. I found myself wondering “Did I try this combination yet?” The funny thing is, I’m still convinced that I entered the proper code, but that the phone just got stupid on me.

One of the options on the iPhone is that you can set it to erase all of the data on the phone after 10 failed attempts to unlock it. I can verify that this feature works as advertised. All of my data: gone.

The cherry on top of this whole ordeal was that I had just installed Windows 7 on my home PC a few days before. One of the things on my post-installation to-do list was to install iTunes and sync my phone to it. I hadn’t done that yet. That meant that I did not have a current backup of my phone readily available.

In the end, I was able to restore the phone from an older backup file. Of course after installation the ONLY piece of software that couldn’t find it’s own data was Apple’s iTunes. All of my Windows apps worked just fine after a quick re-install to the proper location. I had to jump through hoops to get the Apple software to recognize it’s own data. The bad part is that my contacts weren’t in the old backup file. Thankfully they were stored on me.com. The good thing is that my apps still had all of their data after the restore, which I didn’t expect.

That was a nice little adventure. I thought someone might get a good laugh out of my misfortune.

Posted in rants
2009 Photos

2009 was hit or miss regarding photography. I didn’t get to shoot as regularly as I would have liked, and a few of my photo outings were complete busts. Looking back through the year’s photos I think I’m probably being too hard on myself. Sure, I didn’t get to go to Yosemite, the Grand Canyon, or Colorado this year, but I still came away with a few shots I like. I just need to get out more with the camera! I also need to find people that aren’t so camera-shy.

Here are a few of my favorite shots from 2009.

Davids Hand
Davids Hand

Colorful Insect
Colorful Insect

Rob in New York City
Rob in New York City

Acura ARX-01b
Acura ARX-01b

Watcha Doin?
Watcha Doin?

Lines
Lines

You Lookin’ at Me?
You Lookin' At Me?

Ocean Drive
Ocean Drive

STS-128 Lifts Off
STS-128 Lifts Off

Sea Oats at Sunset
Sea Oats at Sunset

Midtown Atlanta
Midtown Atlanta

Sunrise Gull
Sunrise Gull

Posted in photography
2009 Addendum (Avatar)

Turns out that Hollywood didn’t completely disappoint me this year. Avatar was the bright spot for me among 2009’s domestic releases.

The story is pure cliché, and nothing comes as a surprise. The movie was hyped to a level that no movie could possibly reach, including this one. The dialog is distractingly bad in spots, causing a couple of moments that pull you out of the story (Really Cameron? Is “Unobtainium” the best name you could come up with for a mineral that’s difficult to obtain?)

You know what?
I
Don’t
Care

No doubt, there are aspects of the movie that could have been done better, but hold that thought and look at the movie as just pure entertainment and it is fantastic. For not having the best story or dialog, I think the acting was actually pretty good, and of course the visuals stole the show. The movie does as good a job as any of transporting you to a different place for a few hours. This is escapism at it’s finest.

One final thought: Don’t wait for this movie to hit DVD. See it in a theater that shows it in 3D. It’s worth the extra cost (tickets were $4 more than the regular price at my local theater) and I’d say it’s even worth a bit of a drive if there’s no 3D theater near you. I’m sure it’s beautiful and colorful on any screen, but seeing it in 3D moved it beyond the status of “just another movie” to me. This is one of the very few times in my life that I’ve witnessed a movie that in some way changed my concept of what a movie could be.

Cheers

Posted in movies
2009 Concerts and Shows

Books and movies are nice, but the year’s concert schedule was the true highlight of 2009’s entertainment. I got to see a few old favorites such as Dream Theater and Ani Difranco, a few great bands I’ve just started listening to this year like Muse and Metric, as well as a bunch of older bands I’ve listened to for years but never seen in concert like The Offspring and U2.

I just can’t pick a favorite show for the year. VNV Nation is great anytime I get to see them, and they had Ayria opening for them so it was a great all-around show. Tom Petty just played so many classics back-to-back that the entire show had everyone on their feet. Nine Inch Nails always put on a good show, and to see them opening for Jane’s Addiction made for a great show even if it was at the world’s worst amphitheatre.

Billy Joel and Elton John was a good show, but could have been a little better. I like Elton, but I guess I’m a bit biased. Elton John played everything I wanted to hear and then some, while Billy Joel only got to play about half of the songs I had hoped for. The Offspring were just fantastic. That and Metric made for the two shows that were probably the most fun all year. In both cases the crowds were completely into the show. My first U2 show was an event to remember, and I was thrilled that Muse opened for them.

Besides straight-up concerts, I did get to see a few theatrical presentations that were top-notch. American Stage in St. Pete opened their new location with Tuesdays With Morrie, which was a very engaging play based on the Mitch Albom book. I had second-row tickets to see Stomp again, and had front-row in the balcony of the Ambassador Theatre on Broadway to see Chicago, which was one hell of an entertaining show.

So that was 2009. Of course there was a lot to the year beyond mere entertainment, but like I said I wanted to focus on the positive moments. 2010 is shaping up to be an interesting year. Let’s see what we can do with it 😉

Posted in music
2009 Movies & Books

I know I saw a bunch of movies this year. I’d have a hard time naming more than a handful though. There were a few gems, but looking over my list I see that all of them came from overseas. I guess Hollywood left me a little flat in 2009.

Departures was probably my favorite film of the year. It is a Japanese film about a man fallen on hard times who takes a job as an undertaker. Apparently this is the sort of profession that earns scorn in Japan, which makes life even more difficult for the man. He learns to do the job well, regardless of how he’s viewed, and he turns into a shining example of dignity and honor along the way.

Let the Right One In is a vampire movie unlike any other vampire movie you’ve seen. It’s a Swedish film that is dark and thoughtful. Much better than any “vampire” film filled with sparkly fashion-plates who are immortal yet act as if they are thirteen.

Ponyo, well, there’s not a whole lot I can say about the films of Hayao Miyazaki. Go rent it, pop it into the DVD player, and the next hour and a half of your life will become pure magic.

I did manage to get a bit more reading done this year than last. There were some really good stories that I was turned on to, and more than once I found myself closing a book and saying “Wow!” Back in 1990 or so I picked up the book “Good Omens” by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. I loved the book, and while I went on to read a slew of Pratchett books over the years, Neil Gaiman fell off my radar. This was the year that I re-discovered his writing. I liked American Gods, and think that the protagonist is one of the fictional characters that most closely resembles me. The real jewel of the year was Gaiman’s Sandman series. Yes, my literary high-point this year was a comic book from the 90’s, but what a story. I’d put it up there with anything I’ve read.

Never Let Me Go” by Kazuo Ishiguro is a novel focused on a girl growing up in an English boarding school in what would seem to be a normal childhood, but the children at this school are anything but normal. It left an impression on me for the way the characters accept their circumstances and do what they have to.

The other notable mention of the year was Timothy Egan’sThe Worst Hard Time” which is an account of the dust bowl of the 1930’s. In a year when the outlook seemed bleak, nothing puts things into perspective more than reading a true story where people and animals die from lungs filled with dirt, people go days at a time hiding from the weather, and get by on a diet of salted tumbleweeds.

Here are my favorites from 2009.

Movies:

Books:

Posted in movies