My Friend Is Gone

This is Kitty.

She used to have a different name, but I always just called her “Kitty” and so we eventually changed her name to that. My friend Chad brought her to us on the very first full day that we spent in our new house. For about a year she was an only cat. Soon, she became the oldest of the four cats that I had acquired. For a while it was just four cats and myself against the world. As the other cats passed on, Kitty was the only one left, and for the last five years she was once again an only cat.

Kitty died two days ago on Friday, March 9th, 2018.

The sense of loss that I feel from her absence is immense. After 18 years I have spent more time with this cat than with any other living being. More than with my Dad, more than with my Mom, more than anyone. I used to joke that it was because she couldn’t operate doorknobs. In truth, this cat adored me and followed me everywhere. Like the picture above, she was almost always in contact with me if she could be. When I was home she was almost always at least within my sight. She’s been with me through the best parts of my life and the worst. There have been days when I have collapsed in tears as soon as I got in the door, and within minutes Kitty would be there licking the tears from my cheeks.

Sue and I sat with her for about eight hours on Friday, comforting her as best as we could as she faded away.
The last weak meow she made, and the last lucid movements she made, were to get us to continue giving her belly rubs as we were shifting positions. She never seemed to be in pain. She just got continually weaker until she was gone.

It leaves a scar on my soul to have to dig a grave for my closest friend, carry her to it, and bury her forever. The scar will heal with time, but as with all such scars, part of it will always be there. I was so lucky to have her in my life for as long as I did.

This house has always had a cat in it, until now. There were other cats, but Kitty was the one constant. It was her house, and she was it’s cat. It is less of a home without her.

I miss you my friend. I miss you terribly.

I've Lost My Friend

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